Self-service Snacker T-Shirts

'How much do I tip myself?'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

"To keep prices down, we require you to cook your own food, wait in yourselves and wash your dishes."

Breakfast surreal.

DIY Butchers

"You're the sport on my telly"

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

'Don't take it personally... he doesn't know I'm here either.'

'Snack Bar's Open.'

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

Authentic Hot Dogs.

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

'Self service.' 'How much do I tip myself?'

"How much do you think I should I tip myself?"

"I'm fairly sure you can't count jaffa cakes as one of your five a day."

Supermarket Aisles.

DIY helpdesk.

"Dad, what is a meal?"

Sometimes, instead of one big meal, I prefer tapas.

Factory raised chickens. . .Free range chickens. . . Chickens that crossed the road.

Complaints department

'If I collapse there's a cherry danish in my lunchbox.'

'The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it!'

Eating in Heaven.

For the grey nomad, life on the road had its challenges.

'Defler, I'd like to speak to you about your part time, lunch hour job.'

Courteous Self-Service.

And so begins another evening of serious hobnobbing

Bar Bar