Self-representation Champion T-Shirts

'Well, I must be going. I have some shopping to do with the money you saved by acting as your own lawyer.'

"Remember how I've always had a hard time asking for help?"

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Justice 4 Ron

"At first I thought I'd hate it, but now I have to have it."

Don't Take No For an Answer

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

Three years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she could deal with her midlife crisis. You should try a radical makeover. When I hit midlife, I dyed my hair, got some tattoos, and dropped 75 pounds. My husband barely recognized me when he returned from overseas. He was not happy with my "new self," so I divorced him rather than change who I'd become. It was the best decision I'd made since I cut my thieving mother out

'I have way too much respect and dignity to dye the grey out of my hair... so instead could you all just put on these brown-tinted glasses.'

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

"Do you promise to love and comfort yourself, on good days and bad, for richer, for poorer, in weight gain and loss, as long as you shall live?"

"Hey buddy! Come over here and draw me something about 'Freedom of Speech!'"

Self Love Witch

'You know, it's not good for kids' self-esteem to keep harping on about this 'naughty or nice' stuff.'

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending" yourself on Facebook."

"Jazz fusion, modern country or my podcast - my podcast it is!"

'Are we birds? Are these wings? Well, let's get rid of this idea that we can't fly!'

Prosthetic Society Annual Hoe-Down : 'You put your left leg in, you put your left leg out..'

'You've got a lot of nerve, lady, calling my son's answers 'wrong'...His answers may be different, but they're just as special and beautiful as anyone else's.'

If Only Magazine: The Pot Belly Is In!

"I'm sorry...to work at Abbercrummy & Fetch, you must have an 'All-American' look."

Celebrating National No Bra Day

"I'm sorry. Now that everyone's home reading, watching movies, educating themselves, and reflecting on the meaning of life, there's just no money for the arts."

"Gracie, I know you think Frida Kahlo deserves admiration as a great painter...and I know you want to honor her by changing your name to Frida. But aren't you going a little too far?"

I'm the gorilla's nuts... I'm the dog's bo****ks... He's never been good at hiding his light under a bushel.

"The company is determined to implement an equal opportunities policy that eradicates any suggestion of sexist behavior. If anyone doesn't treat you as one of the chaps then I want to know about it!"

"No, you still look fat."

Gok Wan

"I'm supposed to warn you of the perils of being your own attorney...but I can't do it with a straight face."

"I've had therapy and this IS the best possible version of myself."

'Of course you're big and clumsy, but don't forget one thing. You're supposed to be big and clumsy.'

'What matters is what you think. What others think is none of your beeswax.'

Two Brides.

Yeah, I guess it works better for New York than mine does for Maine.

Finally, a fanny-pack he could be proud of.