Self-proclaimed Casanova Gifts

I've been reduced to extreme measures. Randy? Is that you? This is the only way to prevent myself from hitting on gals. I can't be allowed to see or smell them. Of for them to see or hear me: My strong but tender hands, the lips that whisper like a gentle ocean breeze, the ... Oh, no! My turn-of-phrase is too sexy to be contained by a shroud! An ocean breeze with bad coffee breath.

"Talk nerdy to me."

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

I love you. You're my everything. Mixed Message Arts.

Frank and Ernest Celestial Accountants. How's the audit of the Bankrupt Universe, Inc. going, Ernie? At first I thought it was a personnel problem -- Halley's Comet shows up once every seventy-six years, the supernovas are a bunch of burnouts and of course planet Mercury only works eighty-eight days a year. But the real problem isn't personnel, it's corporate strategy! Strategy? What's wrong? Universe, Inc. thinks it can keep expanding and expanding forever and ever!

A masked man serenading

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

"We met the old fashioned way – online, in a chat room."

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

"Don’t worry. You’re looking at the Frederick H. Tuttle Middle School long-jump champion."

'Going my way, gorgeous?'

'I like you, Susan, you have an intuitive interface.'

"How much am I bid, for the death mask of Casanova?"

Florist. You're taking your new girlfriend to the aviary for Valentine's Day? Yes -- It's a cheap date.

Flamo the Fire Eater offering light to female bar patron

'I still have all my own teeth but my head is false.'

Money Hog

"Here it is, world! Extra-terrestrial intelligence! Me!"

'I make a great business consultant because I'm too smart to have a business of my own.'

"You're always trying too hard, Eddie!"

'You name it - we do it: chargers, cluster, colliders, computer, conductors, fluids, novas, sonics and strings.'

"You are a very beauty woman. May I buy you a coke?"

Bit on the side

"Of course, all the good ones are fixed."

'Neat Freaks Anonymous' meeting schedule.

"I knew the market was back when I no longer had to date age appropriate women."

"Actually, you're kinda cute. I don't see why a girl like you and a guy like me can't...."

Two women blowing air kisses.