Self-presentation Strategist Gifts

Presenting a better image

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

See? Whenever he's mad at me, he turns off his Touch ID sensor.

Justice 4 Ron

'How fast can you hype?'

'I wish you would update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

These young people need everything spelled out to them! I miss the old days, when a wink was a wink, and a nod was a nod.

"Good evening. In today's top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list."

"I need someone well versed in the art of torture- do you know PowerPoint?"

'There you go again - trying to solve my problems. I am not asking you to do that. I just want you to listen to me.'

Public Relations 101: Today's Lecture: 'Weapons of mass deception.'

"Your blood pressure is too high. Take two of these."

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

Workaholics anonymous open all day every day.

"You kids are losing your ability to communicate person-to-person...so we're having a good old-fashioned family talk!"

'Well, I suppose it makes a change from powerpoint presentations...'

'I've decided to get serious about losing weight. I moved the refrigerator out of my bedroom.'

The night before the big meeting Frank receives a visit from the PowerPoint Fairy

'I've taken the liberty of simplifying the latest data.'

'It's my job to teach you to grin like ike, and damnit, you will grin like ike!'

These remarks are completely off the record

"I'm incredibly happy - must be the medication speaking."

"Since you became a management consultant we don't seem to speak sense any more."

"Effective and CLEAR communication with customers is ESSENTIAL so we're going to practise drilling down to identify core interpersonal information transfer methodologies to accelerate a meaningful dialogue."

'He's not finished his media training!'

'Just a tip, never be the bearer of bad news - people will automatically blame you for it...'

The team leader conserved energy at odd moments.

Marriage Guidance

'Before we begin, management has asked me to announce that it is the policy to discourage all staff members from speaking to the media.'

"That one goes particularly well with you tie."