Self-presentation Strategist T-Shirts

Presenting a better image

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

'How fast can you hype?'

Justice 4 Ron

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

'I wish you would update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"Good evening. In today's top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list."

These young people need everything spelled out to them! I miss the old days, when a wink was a wink, and a nod was a nod.

"I need someone well versed in the art of torture- do you know PowerPoint?"

'There you go again - trying to solve my problems. I am not asking you to do that. I just want you to listen to me.'

Public Relations 101: Today's Lecture: 'Weapons of mass deception.'

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

"Your blood pressure is too high. Take two of these."

Workaholics anonymous open all day every day.

"You kids are losing your ability to communicate person-to-person...so we're having a good old-fashioned family talk!"

'I've decided to get serious about losing weight. I moved the refrigerator out of my bedroom.'

The night before the big meeting Frank receives a visit from the PowerPoint Fairy

'I've taken the liberty of simplifying the latest data.'

"I'm incredibly happy - must be the medication speaking."

"Since you became a management consultant we don't seem to speak sense any more."

'It's my job to teach you to grin like ike, and damnit, you will grin like ike!'

These remarks are completely off the record

"Effective and CLEAR communication with customers is ESSENTIAL so we're going to practise drilling down to identify core interpersonal information transfer methodologies to accelerate a meaningful dialogue."

'He's not finished his media training!'

'Before we begin, management has asked me to announce that it is the policy to discourage all staff members from speaking to the media.'

Marriage Guidance

'Just a tip, never be the bearer of bad news - people will automatically blame you for it...'

The team leader conserved energy at odd moments.

"That one goes particularly well with you tie."

"The bar charts show out clients overwhelmingly prefer pie charts."