Self-image Strategist T-Shirts

'She's my age!!'

"Nice haircut."

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

"What does she have that I don't?"

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

'Cosmetic surgery.'

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

TV-Mirror.

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

'I've decided to get serious about losing weight. I moved the refrigerator out of my bedroom.'

"I'm a HUNK of burning love!"

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

'Seth, please bring me a copy of every search engine article that mentions my name in a favorable light. I need an ego boost.'

Cartoon Panel Discussion

"It's my self-portrait. Obviously."

"Stock photo, right?"

'Casper just lost twenty seven and a half pounds, but his head is just as fat as ever.'

"Don't make me look fat!"

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."

'Some boys think I'm pretty. Some think I'm ugly. What do you think?'

"-But APART from 38" 22" 36" what else do you want to be, Cynthia?"

How people who have plastic surgery see themselves...

'No, I don't like them, their shirts make me look fat.'

'I'll take THIS mirror.'

"Does this dress make my ass stick out?"

'I look huge in this picture! Do you think you could cut and paste a glass or something into my hand, so it looks like I've just eaten?'

'Admit it, Henry, you only love me for my hair.'

"I'm trying to find that perfect piece of art that will make me think I know something about art."

'I'd like to buy a frame that adds youth to a portrait.'

'He wants to look slightly mysterious and menacing.'

Age is a matter of perspective.

Presenting a better image

'I would appreciate if your young lady waited for you up the road,Wilkins.'

"I know how some actors feel. I can't stand to watch myself on security camera tapes."