Self-monitoring Hero Gifts

"To reinforce my diet, the mirror goes on the fridge."

Can You Spot the Differences?

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."

I'd like a second opinion on your self-diagnosis - So a random guy from the waiting room is googling your symptoms.

"I'm worried about little Gwendoline. She's ignoring her phone and thinking on her own!"

'I got the job, Mom. You always said I'd make a living with my hands.'

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

"If I meet one more person who thinks a whale is a fish!..."

"Now right-click on the icon."

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

'My patients are picking up so much medical knowledge through the media that I feel more like their consultant than their doctor.'

'Our health plan consists of an hour of free web time to self-diagnose.'

Blue-Collar Workers

'You can't join the Federal Witness Protection program just to keep your friends from seeing your bald spot.'

"Well sorry doc, but that's not the reading I get from my digital wrist heart monitor."

'They call it a remote because that's the chnaces of me being able to program it.'

"What a rip-off."

"Looks like another case of someone over forty trying to understand Snapchat."

'I steal from the rich databases and give to the poor databases.'

"Amazing your knowledge of the virus, if anything, I should pay you."

"Let's make a deal, doc. I'll stop diagnosing myself on the internet when you start making house calls again."

Job Safety - Valves.

'Welcome to your on line therapy session.'

"That would be in Aisle Six, the worried-well section."

"Just as I thought Brian... Cybercondria."

Computer use issues

'I was all right till I read, 'Your Gall Bladder and You.'

What a hypochondriac --- He's always turning on his "check engine" light!

They're security cameras. I got them because I'm my own worst enemy.

'And then Steve Jobs invented apple computers.'