Technology-challenged Hero Gifts

"My dad? Forget about it! He's clueless about cells...he'd never read my text messages...trust me!"

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

"I'm worried about little Gwendoline. She's ignoring her phone and thinking on her own!"

'I got the job, Mom. You always said I'd make a living with my hands.'

"It's amazing! There's even a place to put your beer!"

'Word came from on high that managers had to develop their IT skills...'

"Now right-click on the icon."

"I want to get in touch with my inner child. I need the tech support."

'Darling you'll be so proud of me, I've just written my first email. Now I must rush to get it in the post.'

Blue-Collar Workers

iPhone Senior

'They call it a remote because that's the chnaces of me being able to program it.'

"Nothing makes me feel so old as having to scroll down and down to find my year of birth."

"Looks like another case of someone over forty trying to understand Snapchat."

Stressed Office Junior

'I steal from the rich databases and give to the poor databases.'

'It's like a penalty shoot-out, only when it's my turn the ball morphs into a balloon!'

Bruce Lee with dangerous mouse.

"I did my homework, but it got lost in cyberspace."

Job Safety - Valves.

'Don't get smart with me!'

"I had to give up my secret identity—no more phone booths."

"Please help. Never learned PowerPoint."

'How could Plato write The Republic with a quill pen on parchment when I can't write a memo with a deluxe computer?'

'Fighting evil, fighting evil, fighting evil...oh, wait, how about the 17th, say noonish?'

Computer use issues

'And then Steve Jobs invented apple computers.'

'I know you never get grandpa's texts, but I don't have the heart to tell him he's using the TV remote.'

Twelve-step verification

"Darling, I can't set the digital recorder, I've lost the seven year old!"

"So what do we do when we can't say anything nice about someone?"

"I'm sending you back to elementary school so you can get your computer skills up."

A trapeze artist texting forgets to grab his fellow artist.

"What the ∆∂∑† do most of these Ω∞§Ωing buttons do?"

"Alexa! Play Lawrence Welk! Alexa! Play Lawrence Welk! Alexa..." "That's a can of chopped chicken, Grampa."