Cyber-savvy Hero Gifts

"So what do we do when we can't say anything nice about someone?"

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

Halloween Selfie

"A virus ate my homework."

'My teacher said my penmanship has really improved since I started doing my homework on an inkjet printer.'

'The batteries in my calculator just died. Good thing I kept the instructions on how to count on my fingers.'

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

"We're in a dying industry, and you're just sitting there! Well, I'm going to do something about it-I'm starting a Web site."

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

"Hang on. . . I think I've got an app for that."

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

"I'm worried about little Gwendoline. She's ignoring her phone and thinking on her own!"

"I want to get in touch with my inner child. I need the tech support."

"Now right-click on the icon."

Tuppermalware

'I've deleted my on-line homework teacher three times but he won't go away.'

'I want you to text message 100 times, 'I will not text message in class.''

Fully decked out in his new skimmer-Boy Mike was able to skim the pool in just 60 seconds,

'Romeo, Romeo, wi-fi art thou, Romeo...'

"Now remember this formula, it's going to be on the test."

'They call it a remote because that's the chnaces of me being able to program it.'

'My teacher has said my penmanship has really improved since I started doing my homework on an inkjet printer.'

All my gifts come from Amazon anyway, so instead of asking Santa, I'm asking Alexa.

"Looks like another case of someone over forty trying to understand Snapchat."

"Actually no mum, I haven't made lots of new friends."

'I steal from the rich databases and give to the poor databases.'

"I think John is really getting into making remote teaching videos."

Bruce Lee with dangerous mouse.

Ask Sadie. My wife and I are getting a puppy soon. Any training tips? - Jay and Emily, Charlotte, NC. Sent from my iPad. Oh yes. A tip: Have him poop on your @#$% iPad, you high-tech boobs! Irrelevant and gratuitous. Sent from my lungs. You need the toothbrush app.

'I hate it when she assigns an essay at the end of the month, after I've reached my data limit.'

'All my textbooks are ebooks but I forgot to charge my e-Reader so I could not do the assignments.'

'Take out your eBooks and open up 'Understanding Algebra.' Turn to page 198. Open your smart phone's math app and select 'solving quadratic equations.''

"Back in the olden days kids only had teachers to learn from!"

"I had to give up my secret identity—no more phone booths."

'When you've found some change for the gas meter have a look a this email you got from some bloke in Africa asking you to safeguard 13 million dollars...'