Self-monitoring Hero Pillows

"To reinforce my diet, the mirror goes on the fridge."

Can You Spot the Differences?

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."

'I got the job, Mom. You always said I'd make a living with my hands.'

"I'm worried about little Gwendoline. She's ignoring her phone and thinking on her own!"

"If I meet one more person who thinks a whale is a fish!..."

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

"Now right-click on the icon."

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

'My patients are picking up so much medical knowledge through the media that I feel more like their consultant than their doctor.'

Blue-Collar Workers

'You can't join the Federal Witness Protection program just to keep your friends from seeing your bald spot.'

'Our health plan consists of an hour of free web time to self-diagnose.'

"Well sorry doc, but that's not the reading I get from my digital wrist heart monitor."

'They call it a remote because that's the chnaces of me being able to program it.'

"What a rip-off."

"Looks like another case of someone over forty trying to understand Snapchat."

'I steal from the rich databases and give to the poor databases.'

"Let's make a deal, doc. I'll stop diagnosing myself on the internet when you start making house calls again."

"Amazing your knowledge of the virus, if anything, I should pay you."

Job Safety - Valves.

'Welcome to your on line therapy session.'

"That would be in Aisle Six, the worried-well section."

"Just as I thought Brian... Cybercondria."

'Fighting evil, fighting evil, fighting evil...oh, wait, how about the 17th, say noonish?'

'I was all right till I read, 'Your Gall Bladder and You.'

'And then Steve Jobs invented apple computers.'

Computer use issues