Self-love Aficionado Gifts

"The computer appears to have matched you up with yourself Mr Narcissus"

"I'd like to talk more, but my head is so much up my own ass right now!"

Self help acupuncture

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

Spa

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

Dating is so expensive...

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

New Twenty Blades

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"You try staying this this after giving birth two million times."

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"Goodnight, Dan, you handsome devil!"

"Does this make me think I look good?"

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

Me when by BDD shows up

The universe that has me at the center of it is my kind of universe!

Who says you're pasture prime?

"You complete me."

'Someone stole my identity, didn't like it and sent it back.'

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending" yourself on Facebook."

"Gracie, can you make me soar?"

Spa day

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

"I think I'll pass - I'm having a really bad-nose day."

"Do you promise to love and comfort yourself, on good days and bad, for richer, for poorer, in weight gain and loss, as long as you shall live?"

Sorry, the beard is at an awkward stage

'And with this model we'll throw in free a self-basting attachment!'

"There's the bell for respite. . . I mean, recess."

"I hope I'm single for Valentine's because only I fully know my worth in chocolate."

"Would you like your real size or one that artificially inflates your ego?"

"What happened to you?!!"