Self-isolation Commentator Pillows

"I was quarantined at home. I snuck out and now I'm under house arrest."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

The Cougher

Bribes for Jabs

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

Strainspotting

"I need to self isolate. . . but I thought I'd better come in and see you first!"

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what is good on Netflix.

Attack Of The Guy From The Other Room

A 9/11 Every Day

"Peterson should be sure to win the Nobel Prize! He has proven that the mutated Coronavirus also mutates laboratory rats!"

"IS this an unauthorised social gathering?"

Heathrow New Variants Arrivals Lounge

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

StRATegist: Dominic Cummings

How Stupid Is Your Love?

Wrong ways to wear a face mask.

"I've heard they don't want to get vaccinated. . ."

Covid Restrictions

A confinement of convicts

"I have exclusive rights with Pfizer."

Delta and Omicron Race

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

Mandatory mask use

"It's easy to test yourself. Go to sleep at night and if you wake up alive the next morning, you didn't die of Corona overnight."

"Working from home. In pajamas. Angry at the world. Filled with anxiety. Nothing is different."

Mosquito Test + Taste

COVID-19 fever

"This next one's for anyone feeling a little lonely right now, namely, me."

Hospital say GPs will manage patients it has told doctors to discharge early.

"It's an epic saga of a tier 1 girl and a tier 3 boy who fall in love without their families' consent."

The Flus Brothers

"Yes, Bond, It's a bit sparse, but most of them are furloughed or henching from home."

"Thank God I'm nowhere near bodily fluids!"

Covid Euro 2020