Self-isolation Satirist Pillows

Isolation playlist

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

Attack Of The Guy From The Other Room

'Prolonged sitting leads to death? What's up with that?'

Join the protest march, I'm lonely.

"You may now wave at the bride."

Self-Isolatteion

Shelf-Isolation

Counsellor for man on desert island

"You're such good company, impulsively purchased jumpsuit from last spring!"

Antisocial Distancing

"To be honest it's not really driverless, I'm just scared I might catch something off the steering wheel."

'How many calories do you burn by downloading apps?'

Slower than a rubber-tipped arrow,as powerful as a wind-up choo-choo, unable to step over his shoelaces, it's Copyright Free Man!

Tunnel of Love in Covid Times

"Hey! No hugging."

"The deal is $30K for a dozen rolls. First we count the cash - then you get to squish."

I call it "Self-portrait in Quicksand."

"I was quarantined at home. I snuck out and now I'm under house arrest."

"Looks like a case of Death by Missed Adventure."

'Dear diary, went to the beach again today.'

'Last Chance for a Nice Chat'

'At $87,000, I'd say this comes from the artist's I'm-milking-this-for-all-I-can Period.'

'Actually, I learned a lot in college, but there are very few job openings out there for expert beer drinkers.'

Corona isolation

'Your surveillance videos always make me look fat.'

"Watch it, Pal! I WILL come closer than six feet!"

Doc, I firmly believe in portion control as long as I control them!

The "First" Thanksgiving

DHSC: Stay In/Don't Go Out

Social Distancing at Ben and Jerry's

"I think you can safely remove that now."