Self-improvement Reader Gifts

"Have you ever known anyone famous?" "I have." "I've always been great friends with Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." "What? That's you." "Carry yourself like everyone knows you, and everyone you meet will feel like they should know you." "Hey, you all over there! You know me!" "You don't carry things with your mouth."

Where your mind & battle are los

They hated me.

Butterfly Woman

'I have this fear of the real world...'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Self help acupuncture

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"We'll always have couples therapy."

I'm a self-made man!

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."