Self-improvement Seeker Gifts

'And if you ever did catch your tail, are you sure it would make you happy?'

A medal podium with places for first, second and third is contrasted with a spot at the bar for fourth place.

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

New Year's Resolutions: 1. Be more decisive. 2. Ummmm...

'My strength lies in my ability to deny my weaknesses.'

'Having done the mentoring skills questionnaire I think I need a mentor to mentor me in improving my mentoring.'

'My fortune says 'You will be successful in getting students to control their behavior, if you first control your own behavior.'

Personality Test - No Result

Won't admit he has a problem. Won't even admit he's the patient.

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

Learning Curve

'Have you considered getting a life-coach?'

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

Resolutions.

'I'm really serious about keeping my New Year's resolutions. In the past, my resolutions were always in one year and out the other.'

"Someone is always better."

"I just know if I could only lose a few pounds, everything in my life would fall into place!"

"Everything I eat goes straight to my ass."

'I need help in being able to ask for help.' - 'Okay, you need help.'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"Why me?"

'Running away from your problems does not count as exercise.'

A person thinking happy thoughts that insulate him from the gloom around him

"Try not to make the world any worse."

'You've got to stop living in the past.'

Getting in shape (or not)

"It's no disgrace - somebody has to be plain vanilla."

'Is there a machine that's not in front of mirrors? I know what I look like...that's why I am here.'

'You can change your spots, but you must really want to change.'

'Lies! Nothing but lies!'

Discomfort zone.

'I was once a caterpillar like you, then I started to listen to personal improvement tapes and viola, look at me now!'

Emotional Baggage Claim Area

"More important, however is what I learned about myself."

"These pills will cure your O.C.D., but first I wonder if you could organize my shelves."