Self-improvement Lover Pillows

'There is some good news. Your self esteem is not as low as it should be.'

"Are you there now, Linda? Are you in that happy, safe place that brings you peace and assurance, and deep contentment?"

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"Help, I can't read my weight!"

They hated me.

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

What else is there to wish for?

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"Remember how I've always had a hard time asking for help?"

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

Critisize your weight.

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

Self Help / Elf Help.

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

Giving Things Up For Lent.