Self-image Satire Gifts

Photographer

"She should have taken the tissues out of the box."

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

"Nice haircut."

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

Bald Man Overcomb

Improve your leaping ability or your money back.

"What does she have that I don't?"

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'Cosmetic surgery.'

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

Lady Liberty's Self-Care

Bald man with a brush on his head

TV-Mirror.

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

"I'm a HUNK of burning love!"

"This one is called 'Essence of Hockey Bag.'"

"Yes, but why did they use a picture that makes me look fat?!"

'Casper just lost twenty seven and a half pounds, but his head is just as fat as ever.'

"It's my self-portrait. Obviously."

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."

Bald hairdresser recomending hair restoring lotion

'The secret to great abs? Marker pen.'

'Julie,has anyone told you how beautiful you look today? If so send them in for an eye test straight away!'

'Some boys think I'm pretty. Some think I'm ugly. What do you think?'

'He wants to look slightly mysterious and menacing.'

'Admit it, Henry, you only love me for my hair.'

Media Attention for Aliens

'I'd like to buy a frame that adds youth to a portrait.'

"Does this dress make my ass stick out?"

"Long term I'm worried about global warming - short term, about freezing my ass off."

Age is a matter of perspective.

"Apparently removing my reproductive organs wasn't enough."

"Tan O'Clock Salon. Your key to maintaining a healthy afterglow in the afterlife."