Self-entertainer Gifts

"Last year, I was working from home during the party season. Ended up in the kitchen and trying to seduce myself."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Zombie standup

Showbiz Awards

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Clown on bike.

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

The Rooster Comedian.

A Guide to Balloon Animals

"Extreme miming"

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Comedy Cafe

"That'll be five bucks."

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Cow Show Tunes

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Clown God

"Bravo!"

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Primitive magician

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'