Self-defense Student Gifts

'So it is true, your wife is taking karate lessons!'

Offensive and Defensive Dance Class

Overjumpers

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

'Court's in recess!'

Women's Martial Arts Center

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

Lots of personal improvement classes are going on down there. The white blood cells are teaching a self-defense class. The neuron is instructing others about improving communication skills. And a proton and cornea cell have teamed up to teach a class on staying focused and positive! Is the helium atom participating in any of this? No, he thinks he's above it all!

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

KAWAII T'AI CHI

Mod Kwan Doh

Martial Arts

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

They Are Not Going to Take Me

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

"Stop with the tennis balls! There's no oil down here... just monsters."

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

Martial Arts

"And what if the assailant comes at you from inside your own head."

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

"Isn't that adorable? He learned that in Karate class."

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

Martial arts and clumsiness.

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

Stun-gun target practice.

'I'd go small with this burglar. Way too much collateral damage with the cannon.'

"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."

Man fights with his shadow.