Self-defense Teacher Gifts

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

"I'll need a volunteer for this next move."

Overjumpers

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Women's Martial Arts Center

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

Lots of personal improvement classes are going on down there. The white blood cells are teaching a self-defense class. The neuron is instructing others about improving communication skills. And a proton and cornea cell have teamed up to teach a class on staying focused and positive! Is the helium atom participating in any of this? No, he thinks he's above it all!

KAWAII T'AI CHI

Martial Arts

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Mod Kwan Doh

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

They Are Not Going to Take Me

"Stop with the tennis balls! There's no oil down here... just monsters."

"And what if the assailant comes at you from inside your own head."

Martial Arts

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

"Isn't that adorable? He learned that in Karate class."

"I'm using a silencer!"

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

Martial arts and clumsiness.

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

Stun-gun target practice.

"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."

'I'd go small with this burglar. Way too much collateral damage with the cannon.'

Man fights with his shadow.