Self-checkout Scrutinizer Pillows

"Unexpected stupidity in bagging area."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

Nuclear Security Summit

CATCHY NAME

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

Self-Checkout.

"Unexpected item in bagging area."

"There it sat, still as night, in the bagging area ..."

'Hey, there's a spot - pull in there!'

Bar None

Truth in Labeling: 'Snouts, lips, jowls, cheeks and viscera enclosed in intestine and served on a bun, Mustard optional.'

Not in the mood for human interaction line

"We're checking ourselves out after making our own salads and grinding our own coffee...they should be paying us!"

The System is a Punishment for a Past Life

"My wife is quite keen on checking the finer details before we sign anything."

Gonzo Marketing - batteries not included in batteries.

"Unexpected Spanish Inquisition in bagging area ..."

'Unexpected item in bagging area.'

Are we what we eat and what do we actually eat?

'The danger of similar packaging.'

'One four ounce serving supplies minimum daily requirement of butylated hydroxyanisole...'

"$865 attorney fee, $198 title insurance fee, $150 administration fee, $135 title search fee, and heck, let's add a $200 'at this point the client probably won't notice anyway' fee."

"Why is this asking for a tip? Who am I tipping, myself?"

"I wouldn't spend too long reading it - the first payment's almost due."

"Wait! That's not a decimal point! It's a dead fly!"

Inland Revenue 'Think Disallowable'

Spring Water - 0% Trans Fats.

"I'm so proud! I successfully navigated the self-checkout lane with all these fruits and vegetables."

Self Check-out

Heaven Self-Checkout

'And I bet that's only the packaging!'

"Please scan you items..."