Self-care Gardener Gifts

"I'm thinking about working on something really big, but for now I'm just happy keeping my plants alive."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

Surfing the daily stress

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

Don't mind us. We're just trying to eat more locally grown food.

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

Mr Metrosexual.

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

Loofah Lady

"This is your new solar powered dryer?"

"Mulch madness"

'Have you had a brazilian?'

Thanks to therapy, Bob no longer felt like a nobody. He felt like an anybody.

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

How to recover from a bad day

Shaving

"I'm going on a little mental-health walk and you're not coming with me."

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

Woman walking into Inner Beauty Salon.

The barber

Mental health

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'There's no charge for the carrier bag!'

'Which one of these things is the soap?'

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."