Backyard Gardener Gifts

You just plant the seed, water it, and when it grows, you eat it --- I call it "agribusiness."

'Do you think that after you recover from a hard day of virtual farming, you could cut the grass?'

Sure, it's nice. It was just this spring I was hoping for a jacuzzi!

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Prize vegetables.

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

The Busy Gardener

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

What are you giving Mother Earth this year?

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

A Good Batch.

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

baby sweetcorn...

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

Cocktails on the verandah.

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

The Environmentalist

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

So Close..

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'