Home Gardeners Gifts

Weather alert. No, a tomato "watch" means the conditions are right, and tomato "warning" means one's been spotted.

'You're putting coffee grounds in the plants again, aren't you?'

"There. Straight from the organic veggie patch. The world's most expensive carrot."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

What are you giving Mother Earth this year?

Cat Nip.

Don't mind us. We're just trying to eat more locally grown food.

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

A man repeatedly pulls the start cord on his lawn mower until it falls apart.

'I've no time for these foragers - they come into the area and snap up all the best houses...'

"This is your new solar powered dryer?"

Show and Tell: 'These came from our orgasmic garden.'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

"You overwatered the plant, again."

Shakespeare's Earliest Influences. To bean or not to bean ….. Ye Olde Limas. Jolly Goode Cukes. The Bees Peas.

House plants

Natural Phenomena of 15-E

'It's amazing how many recipes you can find with courgettes in them when you have to'

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

"Nice replica of the garden of Eden Joey!"

The Perfect Garden.

"I guess the tomatoes were just a gateway plant."

Hydroponic Gardening

Planting vegetables - "BEAN there done that."

'The only thing I grow in my garden is tired!'

Sure, it's nice. It was just this spring I was hoping for a jacuzzi!

"You just need a few sprigs to spice up your meal Sir..."

'I think this is where our fish pond was.'

In the houseplant cemetery.

Simon and Garfunkel's Spice Rack.