Self-care Comedian T-Shirts

Shaving with a Very Sharp Blade

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

Bald Man Overcomb

Dummies for Dummies.

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

New from Lockdown Press

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself

"Gorg, you've got to let yourself evolve!"

"The Jacksons will be there in about an hour and I promise you guys an epic fight!"

Lady Liberty's Self-Care

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

"I hear a pet can help prolong your life. Got any that know the Heimlich maneuver?"

Bald man polishing head

"Oh, sure! Blame the monkey!"

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

"It's easy. The first step is to entirely change who you are."

'Oh, great... Big date tonight and I've got a zit on my nose.'

'Your lab tests are back. Your cholesterol weight, and self importance are all too high.'

"This one is called 'Essence of Hockey Bag.'"

EAT HAY LOVE One Horse's Search for Everything

'How much have you lost so far?', '$375.00'

'Time for your One-a-Year vitamin supplement pill, dear.'

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

"The sleeping pills take time to work. Don't expect results overnight."

Bald hairdresser recomending hair restoring lotion

'Surgeon General's warning on junk food! Lighten up a little!'

"I'm not sure what an extra strength placebo is!"