Self-appointed Health Experts Gifts

"Yours is an interesting self-diagnosis...."

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

'Let me get this straight- you went to a GUY-ne-cologist, to discuss MEN-o-pause?'

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

Vaccine

"I dreamt we got a 'sorry you were out' card."

"You want a generic or a regular sugar pill?"

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

Prostate: 51st State

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

Covid and the Vaccines

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

30 Days Has Movember

Germany: willingness for anti-corona vaccination decreases!

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

Say balls to testicular cancer, remember to check your crown jewels regularly.

Uncle Sam: I want you..to live and pay taxes...stop smoking!

Man reads note, which reads: Have been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, I don't know where your dinner is.

"The cape comes off too."

Preventive medicine.

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."

Vaccines vs Variants

'Who cares about content? With a title like this it'll sell millions!'