Selective Eater Gifts

'I'm a finicky vegetarian. I don't eat eggs unless they're poached. I don't eat meat, unless it is properly marinated. I don't eat fish unless it's breaded and fried.'

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

'You had better eat those intestinal organs or there's no dessert for you!'

'Strained Carrots Again? What am I being punished for this time?'

"Well, I'm the company sports champion! During the lunch break I ate more hamburgers than any other colleague!"

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

'Are you sure these sprouts aren't GM?.'

'Is it organic?'

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

"Can you just recommend something? Neither of us can possibly focus long enough to read a menu."

'Could I trade all of this for more of that?'

"Come on, honey, try just one Goliath pea. It's organic, locally grown, and GMO free."

"Life is so unfair! There are already ants in the cake but none in the broccoli casserole!"

"Trust me, it tastes good – you won’t like it."

'I knew I needed help when I started going to fast food places only at night so I wouldn't have to share with sea gulls.'

'I say it's spinach and the heck with it!'

Prune Eating Contest: Last Man Standing.

'Being omnivorous means we eat anything: That includes Brussel sprouts!'

"Can you test for broccoli and brussels sprouts too?"

"Do you want the rest of this mouse? It tastes gamey to me."

All you can eat buffet...speed limit: 750 calories per minute

'I don't want to eat this. I want to eat organic foods.'

"Locusts don't sound too bad compared to spinach."

"Juding by your expression, your mom made kale for dinner."