Seersucker Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"I'd ask you up, Richard, but my roommates and I have a pretty strict 'no-"Times"-twits-in-seersucker' policy."

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

''What's in the bag, lady?''

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

'Of course I'm squirreling away money!'

Life's a Bench.

Monument in the park for Squirrel Feeder

"I meant the dog!"

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

'My dentist recommended it.'

"Being a crossing guard for a squirrel is exhausting!"

"If I have this peanut in my pocket, it means I must have buried my keys!"

"Consider yourself chased."

Well, the doctor confirmed that it's not Rosacea.

'I have no idea why he calls us those weird names...my name is Bob!'

"You're not goin' anywhere, Roy. You buried your own nuts again."

'I've tied a knot to remind you to feed him.'

"I'm just making a few behavioral notes in my journal, then I'll chase him."

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

"Hey, Brian. I can't make it to the park today, but I'll be there in spirit."

'I didn't know there was an official seesawing outfit.'

A squirrel talks about Margaret Atwood

"And you can REALLY make 345,000 deliveries in ONE day!"

Nutflix

'Success! I've just hacked into a supposedly squirrel-proof birdfeeder!'