Seeking Help For Alcoholism Gifts

Drying out Clinic - Sorry, alcoholics only!

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

"I told the doctor about my problems with anxiety and burnout and he wrote me a prescription for me an one for himself."

Emotional Support Pest

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

'My work-lifestyle balance is shot, I'm either working or I'm dead!'

'What's the point of suffering from depression if nobody notices?'

'You can't keep rescuing him. If he really wants help, book him an appointment.'

Pastor to couple: 'It is more blessed to forgive than to receive.'

He was out in no time, with a new outlook and a clean slate.

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

'I see the rebranded mobile methadone project got underway.'

"Yes,I'm fully qualified,yes,I'm single,yes.I'm busy after work..."

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

'Dinner in tumble dryer - gone to see therapist!'

Seeing the marriage counselor.

"I'm used to him finishing my sentences, but now he starts them, too."

'I just feel so used all the time.'

'Socrates, you've been drinking again.'

"We even tried cyber sex, but the line was always busy."

Bog of depression.....'Can I come in ?'

"Yes, I have experience. I've been divorced two times."

"You say that the best thing I could do for my health is to give up alcohol. Let's talk about the second best..."

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

"I feel like he doesn't respect me."

"The thing about society is that it gives me such anxiety..."

"I stopped recycling after my garbage guy slipped me the number of the nearest AA branch."

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

'He could be right - maybe we have been taking the problem too seriously.'

"Something has to change....my life is turning into pure hell."