Security Systems Buff Gifts

'A break-out? Forget it. Security's too tight. Can't even break out in a sweat around here without getting caught.'

High security Santa's grotto

'Where was the TSA?'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

Algorithm 'n' Blues

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"To retrieve password: Please answer your secret question, which is, 'what is your password?' hahahaha!"

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

Aggression/Security

CCTV in church.

The Best Defense

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

The Ayatollah Bomb?

Biro Security

'What a day! Caught between a Wiki leak and a document dump.'

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

Automation of Security

"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

"I can't access my homework because I forgot my password."

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

Huawei Five-O

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'