Security System Skeptic T-Shirts

'Hi. I'm going house to house selling home security systems.'

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"We weren't pleased with our previous system."

'And when an intruder crosses its beam, it enshrouds him with an eerie silence.'

"The thief took everything except his TV, computer and phone. My advice to him was to set up a security system, and then update his technology."

"Cute, but is he a good guard?"

UK border controls relaxed.

"It looks like a perfectly balanced system to me."

Privacy Conference Security

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

'If someone sent an email and the National Security Agency did not spy on it, would it still be an email?'

Can't you anarchists do anything within the system?

'Since PRISM, nothing is 'off the record' any more.'

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

Automation of Security

Skip the TSA scans by wearing a Burka

"Our constantant surveillance indicates workers are becoming more paranoid."

Obama's surveillance of America.

'CIA Surveillance of my senate committee violates the fourth amendment...'

"The new system is 100% accurate as long as the client is called Colin and lives in Swindon."

"No, your cats don't bother me. I work under constant surveillance at the office."

"As part of our new privacy policy we stopped using hidden cameras."

"Of course, Perkins likes to think he can make it to the top outside the corporate structure."

"Actually, I'm tired of the man trying to shape our minds so they fit into some pre-arranged societal widget."

"Your calls may be monitored for training purposes..."

Freedom Puppet

Your DNA is in the database.

'This is you hotel. . . it has no TV, but every room is equipped with CCTV.'

'Wi-fi-fo-fum! I smell the blood of an Englishman!'

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

Privacy Conference Security

Couple surrounded by security cameras plus film crew. Man says: 'I find the CCTV is quite intrusive in this area.'

Man urinating against wall with sign on back which says 'as seen on CCTV'.