Security Silliness Gifts

"They're suppositories. Well what other type of drugs do you expect me to smuggle in."

UK border controls relaxed.

Airport Security.

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How to create a password you can remember...

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

Munich Security Conference

'Hello, security.'

What security flaw?

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

Your DNA is in the database.

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."

'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'

Airport security - next step?

'It's okay, mom. I go through this every day at school.'

"I typed the incorrect password for my online banking so much that not only did they lock me out - they locked me up."

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

"Have you ever noticed how the eyes seem to follow you around the room?"

This homeland security is getting out of hand.

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

Advanced Password Hint

"You have exceeded the maximum number of incorrect password attempts."

"Sorry Brian, bit of a rush this morning - I've left my face in the car."

"That'll keep them out."

"...This one comes with the latest security devices...'

'And I think you'll be very impressed with the new network security system we just installed!'

'For your safety, these stalls are monitored by a single person in a discreet location.'

'NSA is going too far.'

Fabric Company: No tulle left in this vehicle overnight