Security Mockery Appreciator Gifts

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

Airport Security.

"We'd like to run a few tests on you to work the kinks out of it."

Try again - Your password has to include barks, growls, whines and at least one yap.

How to create a password you can remember...

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

Munich Security Conference

'Hello, security.'

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

Airport security - next step?

'Did you Gack this suitcase yourself, sir?'

"Sorry Brian, bit of a rush this morning - I've left my face in the car."

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

Beware of the teddy

'I never knew the SEC had a swat team..'

'This will hurt you more than it will hurt me.'

Fabric Company: No tulle left in this vehicle overnight

Possum Army HQ. Here's the casualty report, sir --- You have to take it with a grain of salt, of course.

"No, he's not a security risk ... he just loves the pat-downs."

'If you see a stranger, you kill him -- it's called 'Homeland Security.''

'Tower, we are ready for takeoff.'

"Beware of owner."

'Mom said to keep an eye on you!'

Given his lack of dental insurance, Tony was initially happy with the officer of a federally subsidized cavity search.

Warning!! Anti-Climb Paint.

Old style security

"Before you identify the suspect, you need to confirm your identity."

Beware of the Dog - Leaping Over Fence

"The cash is down again. I'm beginning to suspect an inside job."

'Security.'

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Weblog - An arachnid construction diary...

A-1 security from crime....

TSA Patdowns

'Did you pack your own luggage?'