Security Director T-Shirts

"That's why we got him. We wanted a director of security who was paranoid."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

'You know too much,'

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

Airport Security.

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

TSA Noah

"He's a guard dog."

Dog barking at everything except a burglar.

"I see you've security marked your property."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

The Scanner Of Love.

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

Updated Stories. The Wicked Witch Of The West Tries A New Tactic To Get The Ruby Slippers. Security Checkpoint. Remove your shoes, please.

Do you have a phone with recording capabilities? I want to be able to carry a wire when I meet with my boss.

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

Scarecrows guarding a field

Death to the Extremists

"I spy with my little eye…"

AI Safety Officer

"Ok, I found a secure line."

Pile of top secret files on a train. Man saying 'Is that seat free'

"Beware of Don"

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

"I say we move on to dessert."

"We've been cancelled."

'Hey, buddy -- can you keep a secret?'