Security Consultant Gifts

"Apparently our smart house decided it didn't need us anymore."

Man selling Security Systems: 'If that's too expensive for you, perhaps I could interest you in a false sense of security.'

The Fort Knox Gold Depository has a key under the mat

Safe under mattress.

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

'Good evening!! I'm doing a survey on home security!!'

Business Intelligence Unit.

"Bob? Bob Henderson? I'd recognize that face from my extensive database anywhere!"

Beware of the Dog

Privacy Forum

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

'We've been robbed!'

"That door's no protection against Hobgoblins." - Elf And Safety Inspector

'Tell me about your last job.'

'What do I do for a living?? Isn't it obvious?'

"I just installed a home security monitor."

Assignment - Review School Security.

'Would you believe I'm a deep-cover agent for the Department of Homeland Security?'

Crime-Be-Gone - Fence-O-Matic!

"Watch what you say. The appliances have ears."

"Today tech stocks rose sharply - led by background check software, spyware, encryption apps, military drones..."

Monitor Lizard.

'The economy picked up this quarter, led by disaster relief management, anti-terrorism, security services,bankruptcies, medical malpractice claims...'

'Who removed the wall chart; who broke the window; and where in blazes has Henderson disappeared to?'

'After being in burglary ten years, I can't sleep at night.'

Desert Island Surveillance.

'I'd like to start this training session with another 'icebreaker'...'

Army Navy Store - Sale on Used Government Spyware!

Flirting woman taking money from a man's pocket.

Warning! These premises protected by cheap window decals that probably don't fool anyone.

'When I said you should improve security I meant put a latch on the door.'

"Have you ever thought of changing careers?"

'Oh, crap. I did not see that coming.'

"Yeah it's me again Guv. The boys have found something they suspect might be a listening device."

'Your security system works too well!'