Security Adviser Gifts

'I can't believe you hired your National Security Advisor from Cratg's List!'

The Anti-Agent

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"National security adviser"

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"He's a guard dog."

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

Dog barking at everything except a burglar.

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

"I see you've security marked your property."

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

Do you have a phone with recording capabilities? I want to be able to carry a wire when I meet with my boss.

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'Wouldn't it be cheaper to apologise to the Middle East?'

"Beware of Don"

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

AI Safety Officer

"Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

"Ok, I found a secure line."

Pile of top secret files on a train. Man saying 'Is that seat free'

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

"We occasionally remove content that is considered to be subversive, or a potential threat to public order and national security."

"I say we move on to dessert."

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'