Security Code Sleuth Gifts

"I can't decipher this CAPTCHA security code, doctor simmons, but since it looks like you writing maybe you can read it?"

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

$1: Family Secrets

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

Clickbait

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

'Is it one moo for yes two moos for no?'

'It's something to do with a Microsoft copyright infringement.'

'Gimme all your cache!'

"...Software upgrade provides a seamless transition from simple functionality to multi-platform confusion, chaos and frustration..."

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

Secret Service Dogs

"I'm majoring in Communications with a minor in Leaking!"

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

Efrain Rios Montt sentence overthrown.

'Excellent sir! Your signature is now completely illegible.'

Cryptologists Anonymous

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

Two men converse secretively

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

What security flaw?

I'm loving the phone hacking scandal. I love it when ne'er-do-wells use technology to steal personal information. Because you like when people suffer. No. Because I love it when technology is proven as evil. Spare me. Technology is not evil. People are evil. Computers don't hack people. People hack people. Macs hack, Macs hack! You watch your mouth, filthy human! Fight, fight …

'Roughly translated it says 'Can't remember the code to get into your pyramid? Call Pharaoh Locksmithing.'

'Tech support says your anti-virus software did not catch the problem since it is not a virus. It's a bacterium.'

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."

"Don't mind me. I'm just nosy."