Securing A Rental T-Shirts

"Don't worry, dear. When it comes to getting you a better place, money is no object."

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

' I gather you wish to reassign your lease, Higgins.'

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

House hunting is cruel.

"I need an apartment just big enough for a laptop, a coffee cup, and me."

"I'm going to look for a mortgage...I may be some time!"

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

"Airbnb?"

"Full central heating and hardwood floors throughout, the flat also benefits from being close to all major transport routes."

"Sorry son, I rented out your room to backpackers on Airbnb."

"I used to live here. Now I make a fortune renting it out on Airbnb."

"It's a little bit small,but it's got great cross ventilation."

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

"It's a nice unit, but there may be a faint odor from the last tenant..." "Yeah, enough to make you faint."

We divided it up and turned it into a rental.

"It's a new rent concept - fifteen minutes for a quarter."

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

'I always thought Facebook was the perfect roommate...Until the rent came due.'

"The previous tenant has gone away for a very long time."

The lessor of two evils.

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors, slip-and-fall warning, and, barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'I'm presuming by the amount of rent you're asking for, it includes a full-time butler, maid and gardening staff!'

"Once upon a time there were three little pigs who had this real sweetheart of a rent-controlled deal."

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

Generation Rend. Young man rending his garments in anguish at extortionate rents.

"He's moving out when he's saved up enough for a deposit on a flat."

Leonard Cohen calls his landlord

Tenants and Landlords - 'Are we nearly there? ...'

"Looks like rent-a-mob's arrived."

"Just to let you know - we're putting up your rent again..."

Landlord holding back a tennant from his money: 'It's all part of the service!'

'Am I safe in assuming that your requirements do not include a formal dining room?'