Securing A Lease T-Shirts

"Once upon a time there were three little pigs who had this real sweetheart of a rent-controlled deal."

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

'Mr. Fitzburger, didn't we agree on a no-pets-in-the-apartment policy?!!'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

"The high price is due to the great view of the beach."

'Ok, we've rented the whole building ... oops, they just put on another floor.'

'Sub lease' and 'Executive suite' putting money into a smug piggy bank

Torrent of venture capital.

"I'm going to look for a mortgage...I may be some time!"

"Oh, it's called a fireplace. I'm not sure what fire is, but look how cozy."

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'Office amenities' dangled by 'Leasing agents'

Tenants and Landlords - 'Are we nearly there? ...'

"How much are they for my rent? About three times a week!"

"Well, thank God it's not the plumbing! Let's run down town, drop off a check and sign that lease!!"

Landlord holding back a tennant from his money: 'It's all part of the service!'

"Were you aware you'll need to sign over your wife & kids as collateral in order to secure this property?"

'I think it's the landlord after his three months in advance lease payments.'

"Congratulations, you got the mortgage—now how about piggy-backing a home equity loan on top of it?"

Man with a piggy bank in a car with 'Just Leased' written on the back.

"I take it we got the account."

"Smile - here comes our funding..."

"I got the grant! I'm researching whether or not money can buy happiness."

'Well so much for not needing a break clause in the lease.'

'And now, before we sign the lease on your apartment, repeat after me...I do solemnly swear that during the terms of this lease, I will have no children...'

"Actually all four rooms - the alcove, the closet, the kitchenette - are in this room."

‘We unknowingly bought a leasehold new build!’

'I'd like to lease with an option to pulverize.'

'I'm serving you with a schedule of dilapidation.'

'Thank you for approving my loan application. Is this a good time to speak to you about loan modification?'

"Don't worry, dear. When it comes to getting you a better place, money is no object."

'The landlord's here, and he looks hungry!'