Secular Santa Supporter Pillows

'How come I never see you in church?'

Santa Claus's Mail

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

High security Santa's grotto

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Punk Reindeer

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

Santa Dog

'Ok you two, where the hell is Dancer?!'

Filming Christmas

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

'This year I'm deliverying everything FedEx!'

Santa CGI Effect

Meet Santa's entourage

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

"I want a pony!"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

'And that,and that,and that...'

'Well, I'll try, but cheese seems to be the 'must have gift' this year.'

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

"For the last time… do not feed bubble gum to the reindeer!"

Pole dancers

"Amazon wants to open a facility here due to our friendly labor environment."

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

The Reindeer Strike

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.