Secular Sage T-Shirts

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

Don't you see, Kreutzer? That's why we have all this literature. So you won't duplicate an experiment that's already been done, and there's no reason at all why you should be duplicating Smedly's experiments. After all, he shares a lab with you.

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

Voltaire

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

Mitch learns he is not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.

Bishop with a crozier case.

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

"You've done it - you've come up with the perfect password."

'It will cure every ailment known to man, the only side effect is, you'll choke to death trying to swallow it.'

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

Couldn't you have used a smaller font?

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

"You're confusing guilt with feelings of remorse. With remorse, you don't need a lawyer."

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

'All that we learn from history is that we don't learn from history...'

'Meaning of life, eh? -- Who wants to know?'