Scripture Sage T-Shirts

'I'll have to make a lot of copies!'

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

'You just don't know when to stop, do you?'

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

One way only.

Don't you see, Kreutzer? That's why we have all this literature. So you won't duplicate an experiment that's already been done, and there's no reason at all why you should be duplicating Smedly's experiments. After all, he shares a lab with you.

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

Voltaire

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

"The amendments are coming next week!"

Bishop with a crozier case.

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

How To Cut The Defense Budget

"You've done it - you've come up with the perfect password."

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

Sales Exit.

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

Couldn't you have used a smaller font?

"Oh, do stick it adjectively adverbially where the 'effin' sun don't shine!"

"No, we can't have a lawyer look at them first!"

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

'Stop gritting your teeth!'

'All that we learn from history is that we don't learn from history...'