Secretive Chef T-Shirts

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Menu. Ernie doesn't write dow his recipes --- He doesn't want to leave a paper trail.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

Witch's Brew.

Kiss the Commander in Chef

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

Sure, I'll take a sandwich

Boys Cooking

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

"I'm not eating a TV dinner. Now it's called 'Computer Cuisine.'"

"It's fondue night!"

'Mary, you must give me your stuffing recipe.'

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

Surgeon

'Getting above yourself for a short order cook, aren't you?'

'Too much spice?'

Lobster potion.

'This is Muriel's kitchen, where the magic happens -- you know, Voodoo and stuff like that,'

MasterWitch

Quartet of Chefs

'Tell me the truth, Helen, you married me for my cooking, didn't you?'

"Darling, sorry to bother you, but the steak won't fit into the toaster..."

"Do you have an intensive course? I'm getting married in a week!"

"Yes, I'm the cardiologist, Dr. Johnson, ordering a pizza, and there's a nice tip in it for you if you deliver it discreetly."

Julia Childs combats a growing rabbit population

"School lunch was pretty good today."

"Welcome to the '20-'21 school year."

'Table 17 wants his salmon seasoned only with sea salt - from the Pacific; between 25 and 30 degrees south latitude.'

Child fussy about his food after cookery programmes.

Alex Guarnaschelli

'This French food is pretty good, except for that beurre bleeech sauce.'

Pots and Pans

'... and, another thing, it's more stodgy than my mother's.'