Culinary Covert T-Shirts

"Yes, I'm the cardiologist, Dr. Johnson, ordering a pizza, and there's a nice tip in it for you if you deliver it discreetly."

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

Try to guess the continent dining...

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

Woman reads Nigella Lawson cook book: 'Add butter to the mixture, remembering to moisten your lips ... whisk for three to four minutes, pouting throughout ...'

Turkey Autopsy

'That's funny... I could have sworn I saw the chef put him on the platter.'

Horse meat scandal.

"Whoever did this was chillingly methodical about it."

The History of Anti-stick

"Dumb ass, huh! Well there's more than one way to grill a thick sausage."

'Mary, you must give me your stuffing recipe.'

'I'm sorry, I can't reveal my sauce.'

'Don't give up Albert - one of these cans has to have tuna in it!'

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

"Well, if you haven't seen him, do you know a good recipe for puff pastry?"

"She always said she'd only share this recipe over her dead body."

'He's very fussy about his food.'

'We don't want your business; we just want the recipe.'

"After you read the menu, eat it."

CIA Cafeteria: 'It's nice of you to ask, but the recipe is classified.'