Culinary Covert Gifts

"Yes, I'm the cardiologist, Dr. Johnson, ordering a pizza, and there's a nice tip in it for you if you deliver it discreetly."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Try to guess the continent dining...

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

Turkey Autopsy

Horse meat scandal.

'That's funny... I could have sworn I saw the chef put him on the platter.'

"Dumb ass, huh! Well there's more than one way to grill a thick sausage."

'I'm sorry, I can't reveal my sauce.'

The History of Anti-stick

'Mary, you must give me your stuffing recipe.'

'Don't give up Albert - one of these cans has to have tuna in it!'

"Well, if you haven't seen him, do you know a good recipe for puff pastry?"

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

"She always said she'd only share this recipe over her dead body."

'We don't want your business; we just want the recipe.'

'He's very fussy about his food.'

"After you read the menu, eat it."

CIA Cafeteria: 'It's nice of you to ask, but the recipe is classified.'

'I can't tell you what's in the stew because it's classified.'