Culinary Mystery Gifts

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

Soup of the month.

Try to guess the continent dining...

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Garden.

Too much cilantro

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

I love Cannelloni

Holiday Supplies

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'How is the water prepared?'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

"Number 2. Step forward please."

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

"Please don't kill me."

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

The perfect man

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

"Don't tell him anything."

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"Cut down on the pumpkin spice."

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away