Screen Chef T-Shirts

"I'm not eating a TV dinner. Now it's called 'Computer Cuisine.'"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'I sent out for everything.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"How can you be out of wings?"

Come dine with me!

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Jack of all trades

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Counting ribs

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Lady of the Cake.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"States of tofu"

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Diner.