Secret Wedding Gifts

'Let's have a secret wedding - all my friends think I have better taste!'

You're my Mona Lisa.

Demure lady with gloves

Lesbian civil partnership.

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

A heart shaped cake

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"You're the lid to my pot."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Bubbly

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

We'll have Manhattans...

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

"Why don't you find a museum!"

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."