Online Wedding Gifts

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Right click for yes...

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

"You may now kiss the bride."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'Your website or mine?'

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"Everybody meets online these days."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

Today's love

cuPad

Zumma Cum Laude

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

Zoom Wedding

Online marriage ceremony.

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

"We met the old fashioned way – online, in a chat room."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'