Secret Squirrel T-Shirts

'This isn't a fortune cookie. It's a WikiLeak!'

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

$1: Family Secrets

'I bet you think I'm drinking tea...'

New York Netherworld

He kept pretending he was going to work when he was just running errands.

'It's Dick Cheney's biography.'

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

'Washington has wooden teeth? -- how did you find that out?', 'It came out in conversation.'

The not so secret life of Walter Mitty

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

"First of all, this conversation never happened."

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

"Never mind the cat! There's a squirrel stuck in a rainspout over on Lang Road!!"

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

"Whoa, I guess dad and mom didn’t send Scraps off to live on a farm after all."

Two men converse secretively

"Chef keeps the secrets of his sauces close to his chest"

Catholic Priest Gay Mardi Gras

"We bought the most expensive cut of meat....you marinated it for two days in your secret sauce....and all you end up with is that?"

Parson wishing to seem as though he is not drinking

'I can't keep a secret, either!'

'Curiosity'

As you like it - 'Is my wife at home?' ' Yes sir, and also your cousin'

'I have all our acorn storage spots geolocated on my smart phone...'

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

Rudolph Gets Even - "Reindeer Games - Their seedy underground activities finally revealed."

"As you can see this is pretty embarrassing so I'd appreciate keeping it between you, me and this fence post."

"We'll you're never gonna get it."

'I am the 'fly on the wall' you speak of. What would you like to know?'

"Never be afraid to take me into your confidence, Sally, I'm very partial to stoolies."